Narcissism and Media

the narcissist I would define as a specific subset of the modern condition wherein the individual is driven by the will to find herself to be the essential building block of matter. she expects that, hiding behind the particulars, within and among them, and among their categorization and behaviours, even the mere act of experiencing them is constructed from things within the self. the universe is made of selves just like you and me. the narcissist, to be consistent, must be able to find patterns in all phenomena that lead her back to herself. this is an incredibly narcissistic idea, hence the name.  i'm pretty unhappy with it as a name, but i can't seem to find anything better at the moment. if one were to look at it linguistically, the self is an axiom. we look at any method of description of stuff and find ourselves to be the central building block. the narcissist is a twin. there is an implicit dualism in the very act of describing something because you are using words to describe something to me. or to yourself. bah its no use i keep saying the same thing!

im going to make tubby autonomous. i want to use a 74C14 (or perhaps several), possibly in conjunction with some kind of variable resistor for added autonomy. i want to be able to converse with tubby. or perhaps for tubby to converse with other tubbies. i think this was the initial driving force behind the music box thing and i forgot why i liked it so much. i think some unpredictable, autonomous behavior is essential to the idea of this guy. a music box is not as interesting if it is itunes, unless the visualizer is on and you're into staring at a screen for a really long time (ahem). a music box is cool because of all the little gears inside it. it was like a clock, the antebellum model for the universe (and thus mind). now we have other things like the idea that a) there is a conscious, b) there is the negation of consciousness (the other, space, the unconscious), and c) that both of these things are shaped like languages. the computer is our clock. the binary is this unconscious, almost naughty little drive or desire. to quote Robert Ashley:

"The fantasy is the distance, the reluctance, the reticence, the otherness."

of course, he was talking about masturbation. but i would say that all language is massage, and so either your pulling bugs out of other people's fur, or you're preening yourself. you're either talking or thinking. you're either thinking or doing. that is also a narcissistic statement. so there's the binary between that which you are doing or aren't, but there's also that which did or will do. there's also what you hope to do and what you hope not to do, what you wish you had done and what you regret. or perhaps there's also what you thought you would do or wouldn't do, and what you remember or don't remember. i think once we get to that level the bifurcations are way to many to hope to account for. but they are bifurcations.

what is the role of glossolalia in all this?

glossolalia i would define as language stripped of causality, or perhaps with causality relegated to the realm of the metaphysical. it's the unmoved mover. is it axiom? what happens when it is?

we get things like the universal word or intonement. from logos to om. we get all of indian classical music and we also get shakespeare and also freud. we get chompsky, we get pythagoras. of course there are problems. how good of a write off is glossolalia? what's the signal to noise? if too much shit is discarded as noise, we've got blinders on. words are media, words are extensions of ourselves. thus words imply a binary between the client and server.

wow. ok. enough.

goodnight.

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